vrijdag 22 augustus 2008

Where's everybody?

Where is everybody? It's frighteningly quiet over here for the past couple of days. Is everybody on vacation? Coulnd't be right? Shouldn't be . Not while I'm over here, boring my ass off, using my brains until they collapse, hating the way my life's going till I malfunction in every aspect of life. Why is everbody gone? I hate crap over here. Rainy weather, stupid arrogant people, minimal diversion, maximum boresome, crappy ongoing personal hesitancy, everyday depressing monotone house-work-house tendency, and so on. Double crap.

I'm sick, I don't feel great, actually I feel fucked up. If only I could skip a part of my life and continue life 10 years later or something. Actually life would get sucky too in that period of time, wouldn't that be refreshing? In anyway it would be different than things nowadays. There would be a variation in comparison to my "cool" and "joyful" life at this moment. Maybe freezing my body like in Prehistoric Ice Man on South Park, or that bad motherfucker in Judge Dredd, would be an option. Just stay freezed for 10 or 20 years, and than just unfreeze and let the world overwhelm you with her newborn ideas, developments, technologies, cultures, social thoughts, borders etcetera. Wouldn't that be interesting, thrilling and exciting? Everything would be new and you'll just be oldschool and trying to explore the world. Yeah, no old social contacts, just everything new. I'm being a Utopian. Like if life would get better if that would happen.

Life sucks in every era. The Romans experienced it, the Greeks experienced it, the Ottamans experienced it, the communist experienced it and even the hippies experienced it. Make love not war? Yeah sure, like if making love is the most refreshing thing to do. You'll eventually get bored doing that too. Life's always a war, material or immaterial, inner or outer. And life needs war. Something like that Japanese or Chinese balance crap, Ying and Yang. No rest without tasting unrest. Well I'm eating unrest like a pig, so I hope I can shit everything out of my life, body and system as soon as possible, so I'll unbrace, and eventually embrace rest.

Well that was me nagging my shit in English and trying to unleash my heart and thoughts. Thank you for listening, if you didn't, who cares.

7 opmerkingen:

Burçin zei
Deze reactie is verwijderd door de auteur.
Burçin zei

Where's everybody?

Where is everybody? It's frighteningly quiet over here for the past couple of days. Is everybody on vacation? Coulnd't be right? Shouldn't be . Not while I'm over here, boring my ass off, using my brains untill*1)

*1) It's not "[b]untill[/b]", but '[b]until[/b]'. One 'L';

I'm just teasing you :) I enjoyed while reading some blogs you wrote. I could see myself in some sentences. In a few seconds a went back to 2005/2006 where we had a conversation about a similar subject. It feels like nothing changed in 3 years. We might have more knowlegde, skills and life experience, but it doesn't make any difference against our feelings in something called ''life''. Maybe you should write blogs about positif things. By talking about them, you'll start thinking positif and at the and you'll believe in it. It could be a way to feel happier in life. Actually, this my way of feeling better. I prefer to imagine living in pink clouds and watching the rainbow from there... there where I'm actually on grey clouds and seeing the rain and some thunders. Sometimes happyness is just a perspective to the world.

ErsinB zei

Tanks for the correction :D. Btw, It's "positive" not "positif", "dealing" and not "deeling" :p.

I know I should be positive, but life won't always let you be positive, sometimes you got to be negative. At the moment I've got no happiness (not "happyness" :D). It's too hard to stay optimistic. This period of time and emotions will past though. Thanks for your concerns Burcin. Have fun in England.

Burçin zei

I bet that it won't past trough if you keep thinking like this. It's lovely to stay in de shadow isn't it. Thinking sad is so familiar isn't it ? It's like a virus, no better a drug. You keep turning back into it. Like it's destined. I believe in that only you can make your feelings and that by just... thinking ! Everything starts by thinking. Feelings often comes after. Think yourself positive and strong. Nor the people around you nor the time has it. Only you have the keys ! It's hard to use them because it's so scary to get in touch with the light, the happiness. You are afraid of how life could be if you change your perspective !

Burçin zei

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

ErsinB zei

Being too optimistic is just the opposite of being too pessimistic. Both are dangerous.

Pessimism let's you stay awake. You think about every step, it makes you suspicious and paranoid. Too much will bring you down, you just need a little bit.

Optimism on the other hand, just lets you sleep and dream all the time. You don't think twice when doing stuff, it makes you careless and too gullible. Too much will bring you down too.

So you need to balance it, and have some of it now and then.

Burçin zei

Our life experience won't make us totally optimistic, so you will never get it too much. Those words are made for beeing more optimistic =)