maandag 15 september 2008

The Unleashed vs The World

I'm unleashed, but my chains remain. Freedom is in sight, however too far away. I would have stayed captured and I wouldn’t mind. It was somewhat sattisfying, but screwed up my life. The forced connectiveness, the unreal emotions, the forsaken future. Every feeling, every step, every thought had a second meaning, everything was ambiguous. Still I was happy in a way. Happy to love someone, happy to give everything I've got, happy to plan a future.

Now it’s gone, everything ended. It feels like time has stopped, the future has been destroyed, there’s nothing left. There’s no past sense and no present continuous. It’s unbelievably unreal yet unbelievably real. How could it be that I’m optimistic and pessimistic at the same time. Was this all a dream or a nightmare? I can’t conclude in none of the ways the word “conclude” is defined. There is no closure in my life.

You! Yes you, you self-righteous World. You brought this upon me. You can be a curse for the ones who love you and you are a curse for the ones who have to deal with your self-righteousness. The only thing you do is deny your own self, and with it others who spend their life with you. You complain at others while it’s your own projection that’s saddens you and us. You keep turning while the rest is hurt by your natural disasters. You keep going tenaciously without weeping. You don’t want to look back because of the agony and grief you forced upon others and yourself. You keep turning because you don’t want to admit, admit that you too have faults to be sorry for, admit that you too are a creation of God (just like us). Well World don’t forget this: The screamings of people and your inner inside will eventually overtone your self-righteousness. You will eventually feel every bit of guilt from wich you can’t runaway. Face yourself, face that we have to rule your World and you have to rule our World, face that we need to do it together. We need you and you need the people. Get off that liar’s throne.

You’re still the World I want to live in, but life goes on.

Sincerely yours,

Citizen ErsinB

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