vrijdag 23 april 2010

Miracle Worker Ari


Ari Gold: F**k the phones, Lloyd! Unless Carmen Electra calls for an emergency titty-f**k, don’t answer!

Lloyd: Ari, swear to me you will never say anything offensive to me about my race or my sexual orientation.
Ari Gold: I can't swear to that, but I promise I WILL always apologize after.

Ari Gold: All right, when you talk to Dana, tell her I'm going to take the pictures from Cancun, and start a website called "imahollywoodexecutivewhore.com" and there will be no password or fee required, and I will take out a full page ad in the LA Times promoting it. Tell her I want a f**king call back

Ari Gold: [after his Viagra has kicked in, to his angry wife] Come on! I'm like R. Kelly at recess here!

Ari Gold: Listen, Lloyd, do you want to make it? Or do you want to fold shirts at a Chinese laundry? Now pledge. Nod if you understand what I'm saying.
Lloyd: I understand.
Ari Gold: You can't just f**king nod?

Ari Gold: I wanna f**k Angelina Jolie. The only difference is, I might actually have a shot.

Ari Gold: [to his assistant Lloyd] *nodding drunkenly* That was a good speech Lloyd...If I was 25 and liked c**k, we could be something..

Ari Gold: Everybody stop. I didn't go to the Lakers game because they're playing the f**king Bobcats. And I came here today, because I thought this was a session on how my wife could learn to communicate. How to answer a question without a question. Basic Humanity 101. Which I thought, given your wall of f**king diplomas, you could easily fix. Or if you couldn't, you could give her a pill that would either fix it or make her a mute. But now, to turn around and gang up on me, I have work to do. I have hundreds of clients to deal with, and just so we're clear, I don't care about any of them. They're all just a number - like wife #1 and therapist #7. Good day.

Ari Gold: Listen, Lloyd, I want you to put all my files, folders, binders, *everything* into a box! If you find a used condom, an executioner's mask, and a fucking spike paddle, don't think, just pack that bitch! Chop suey!

Ari Gold: Ah-ha, my "J" phase. I think I fired him for stealing pens. Why do I care about Josh?
Emily: Well, now he's an agent at Triad. And he's the one who gave the boys Queens Boulevard.
[Ari spins around and starts back to his office]
Ari Gold: That's why no more guys! You fire a guy, you create a rival. You fire a woman, you create a housewife.
Ari Gold: Dana, I have never cheated on my wife, not since she became my wife. But if you want to jerk me in the car now, I'm game.

Ari Gold: Just know that today, Lloyd, your love of cock is a huge asset to this company. (Voor de goede orde, Lloyd is homo =D)

Ari Gold: People. staff meeting has been canceled. You all have one goal today, to get Vincent Chase's brother, Johnny Chase, a job. Any job. I don't care if it's a porn shoot in which he is being gang-raped by a gaggle of silverbacked apes; if there are cameras rolling, everybody wins. Ten grand to anyone who can deliver this to me, TODAY.
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Dit is zo'n coole serie. Puur door de karakter Ari Gold. Geweldig geacteerd.



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